Feature: Lebanese refugees fleeing Israel’s assault caught between hope, lasting scars of war

DAMASCUS, Oct. 16 (Xinhua) — Haidar Abu Ali and his six children began their perilous journey on foot through the streets of Beirut’s southern suburb, as cries for help echoed in the aftermath of Israeli airstrikes.
“The most terrifying thought was watching my children die before my eyes,” Abu Ali recalls, still haunted by the nerve-wracking fear that gripped him during their escape from the danger zone.
“There were no cars, no transportation, nothing. We walked, praying for safety, hoping we wouldn’t be caught in another attack,” Abu Ali, a 45-year-old widower, told Xinhua at a displacement shelter in the countryside of the capital Damascus.
The escalating violence and relentless bombardment left Abu Ali with no choice but to abandon everything he once knew.
“I never thought I would leave my home,” Abu Ali said. “But the moment the bombing reached our doorstep, there was no other option. We left with only the clothes on our backs, wearing nothing but slippers.”
On his way out, Abu Ali said he struggled to remain composed in front of his children while the world he knew was shattering around him.
“We could hear the screams of people all around us, and I prayed that we would make it out alive. It’s indescribable — no human being should witness such scenes,” he said.
For Abu Ali, one image haunts him more than any other: children trapped under the rubble of collapsed buildings. “I wished for death rather than seeing those scenes,” he admitted. “But my main concern was saving my children. They are the most precious thing in my life. I couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to them.”
Since arriving in Syria, Abu Ali and his family have been living in makeshift conditions, and they are uncertain if their home in Beirut still stands. “We wash the clothes we fled in and wait for them to dry before wearing them again. We don’t have any money, nothing,” he explained. “We don’t even know if our house is still there or if it’s been destroyed.”
Despite the hardships, Abu Ali remains resolute in his desire to return home. “I don’t want to be anywhere else. Even if my house is destroyed, I would live in a tent next to it — at least I would be in my homeland, with my dignity intact,” he said.
For many Lebanese, like Khaled Abu Malik, a father from Baalbek in Lebanon’s Beqaa Valley, the rapid escalation of violence came as a shock. “The situation deteriorated so quickly. We never imagined things would reach this point,” Abu Malik told Xinhua at the same displacement shelter. “The war on the border has been ongoing for more than a year, but the sudden escalation was overwhelming,” he recounted.
The relentless Israeli bombardment has taken a toll on Abu Malik and his family, particularly the women and children. “The children are the ones we fear for the most,” he said. “The bombardment was nerve-wracking. The moment we realized there was no safe place to go, we ended up here in Syria. Thank God everything is provided here.”
However, despite finding temporary safety, Abu Malik longs for the day he can return to his homeland. “Life feels like it has stopped here, but there is still hope,” he said. “I want to return home under any circumstances, to be with my family. Even if a person dies, it’s better to die among your own people.”
This is the first time Abu Malik has experienced the trauma of being displaced from his home. “It’s a difficult feeling, one I’ve never known before,” he reflected. “Now I understand how hard it is to be forced from your home,” he lamented.
For both men, the desire to return to their homes, despite the destruction and uncertainty, is a common thread. They, like thousands of others, dream of the day when they can rebuild their lives in their homeland, no matter the cost. But for now, they remain refugees, grappling with the aftermath of a conflict that has once again reshaped their lives.
Despite the never-dying hope, Abu Ali said that once the glass is fractured, the damage can’t be undone, reflecting on the psychological situation of his children.
“The psychological scars will remain with my children forever,” he said. ■